


In the face of death

by Subaruchan192



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Boys In Love, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Idiots in Love, Insecure Thanatos (Hades Video Game), Insecure Zagreus, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Discussions, Tenderness, Thanatos is hurt, reawakening feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subaruchan192/pseuds/Subaruchan192
Summary: The fields of Elysium were wide and green, beautiful, when Zagreus saw them for the first time. He knew that his blood would soon stain the supposed paradise and that he would die here, but he never expected to look the god of death in the eye.~*~This is my version of Zagreus and Thanatos first meeting in the game and their conversation =)
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	In the face of death

**Author's Note:**

> So here I am with my second fic for the fandom and likely not my last as I'm currently obsessed with the game, lol =) I hope you're going to enjoy it.

A certain nervousness filled Zagreus as the gate to the next chamber of Elysium opened and the entire room vibrated. He had never come this far before, but his strength was beginning to wane. The bone hydra had already robbed him of a large part of his life energy and even the well hadn’t been able to restore it completely. He had survived the last two chambers only with difficulty. His breathing was ragged and he had noticed how his movements had become more erratic and desperate. He wouldn’t survive this chamber; Zagreus was sure of that.

It didn’t matter, at least he had escaped Asphodel for the first time and had defeated Lernie. He would just keep trying. At least he tried to cheer him up like this, but in truth his thoughts were revolving around how he was going to die. Would one of the shadows impale him with his spear? Or a trap?

He was immortal, but the pain was real. His fingers twitched nervously around the hilt of Stygius as the gate finally opened and the doubt of the wait was replaced was by a fighting spirit. He might die once again, now, but he would make sure he wasn’t going to make it easy.

Zagreus took another deep breath to focus his senses and to dispel the heavy exhaustion that sat within his bones. Then, he walked into his new chamber of trials and the gate closed behind him with a dull hum.

It was a rather small, plain chamber compared to the two before. At first glance he couldn’t see a trap, but something was wrong. Zagreus could sense it. The air was tight, almost coiled together, vibrating from something powerful.

Zagreus looked around and waited, waited for the feeling of lightening in the air, before the monsters were summoned. Instead, there was suddenly the deep, sonorous sound of a bell which seemed to come from somewhere underneath him. The crystalline light flickered for a brief moment before igniting, illuminating the entire chamber in an unreal poisonous green.

The ringing of the bells became louder and then suddenly died. There was dead silence in the room and a figure suddenly appeared in the centre. Zagreus recognised them immediately and the tired expression on his face brightened up.

“Than,” he exclaimed happily, the tensed expression disappearing from his face. “It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

Just when he was about to take a step forward, something within the golden eyes of the death made him stop.

“Than?” He asked, almost uncertain. Thanatos remained silent and looked at him with a gaze that Zagreus couldn’t interpret. The god of the dead had always been a rather quiet person, but this heavy, stifling silence in the room was beginning to feel uncomfortable. “Could you at least, I don’t know, say something?”

“What’s there about to say?” Thanatos’ voice was deep and calm like always, but it had a harder, colder undertone to it and he narrowed his eyes only the tiniest bit, while his scythe flashed menacingly in the light of the chamber. “You were the one who decided to leave without saying a word if I recall correctly.”

The words stung deeper and more painful than any blade ever could and a harshness rested in the golden eyes.

“You’re right.” Sorrowfully, Zagreus bowed his head and nodded, while it felt as if Thanatos’ eyes were piercing through him. “And I deserve your anger.”

“Anger?” Thanatos tilted his head, looking at him as if the meaning was alien to him. Presumably this was the case, for Zagreus had never seen the god of death angry. Why should he? He was inescapable and in the end he would always prevail.

In general, Thanatos was rather calm in nature. As far as Zagreus remembered, he had rarely seen any stirring of emotion in the beautiful face with the precious golden eyes, and when he had, they had been rather small, barely perceptible, but now so many individual facets seemed to flit through the shadows that hid his face that Zagreus could hardly register them. Almost like a storm. Like a storm that stirred up the always calm sea.

“I don't know if I would call it that.” Thanatos’ deep voice floated through the room and seemed to echo off the walls, while his eyes stayed on Zagreus; not even blinking.

Maybe Zagreus had only hoped that he could stir something in the ancient being that was death. Otherwise, he couldn’t explain the deep sadness that spread like a dark cloud inside his stomach.

A deep sigh of Thanatos tore Zagreus out of his thoughts.

“So, you really want to go? To the surface, I mean.”, he asked, the shadows over his face becoming darker. For the first time in his life, Zagreus felt something inside him faltering, suddenly, for a short blink, not so sure of his goal.

Thanatos was his oldest and closest friend. They had grown up like brothers, but the disappointment in death’s eyes- Zagreus decided to call it like that for now- tightened his throat, reinforcing the sense of hopelessness of his subjugation that haunted him in the moments when he was close to death.

“Yes, I do.” He nodded. “I have to, Than. Nyx told me she isn’t my birthmother.”

“She’s still your _mother_.” Something came alive in the death’s voice and on his face. “She raised you as her child.”

“I know.” Zagreus face expression softened and Stygius disappeared, disappointed that no fight was waiting for him this time. “And nothing is ever going to change that, but my real mother, she’s still _alive_. I have to find her. I couldn’t stay any longer.”

Zagreus had always felt as if he didn’t belong to the place everyone believed destined to him, but who could be sure what the Moirai had planned for him? He had felt so alone and he hoped to understand it and himself better, if he would finally find his mother.

“Ever since I know questions are floating through my head and I feel lost, oddly detached and I need to find answers. I need to know where my other half comes from. Can’t you understand that?”

Thanatos gave him a long look and Zagreus tried to find something in the fibres of the golden eyes. Then, another sigh escaped him and the tension of disapproval eased out of the shoulders.

“I do.” Thanatos lowered himself to the ground, his naked feet touching the cool, green grass. The blades of grass withered the moment he touched them and became as grey as his skin.

Thanatos was still taller than him, if only half a head, and Zagreus tilted his head slightly to look into the now softer eyes.

“I really do, Zag,” he whispered and Zagreus felt a warm shower of relief as he heard the trusted nickname. “But I can’t help that it feels like you’re cutting the ties to mother. Like you’re abandoning her… _us._ ”

A dark pain lingered in Thanatos eyes, a deep, emotional hurt that tightened Zagreus throat.

“Than, I’d never…,” he whispered, his voice flattened to a breath, but Thanatos shook his head, not wanting to hear any of it.

“That’s exactly what you’re doing,” he said calmly, but something shivered deep underneath it. “Tell me, Zag, what do you intent on doing after you reached the top? Would you find her and then return down here? To the place you hate so much?”

“I…” Zagreus was in lost for words, his red and green eyes widened, suddenly aware what consequences his wish brought to all of those around him. How much he demanded of those closest to him. “Admittedly, I haven’t though that far. Depends on the answers I find, I guess.”

As eager as he was to find his mother, to hear her version of the story when his father stayed quiet, but he was also anxious. The few times he tried to sleep, many versions of events haunted him and he didn’t know what he was going to do when he heard one, he actually didn’t want to hear.

“It doesn't bother me that you want to go to the surface, Zag. That is, not really. I expected the day would come. What hurts me is that you were ready to leave forever without telling me. Was I supposed to come home one day and wonder where you were until Hypnos told me you'd left for good? Did I mean so little to you that I didn't even deserve a goodbye?”

Zagreus didn’t know what to say to that.

“You should have been the one telling me.” Thanatos’ voice became a tiny nuance louder and his gaze sharpened.

“Yes, I should have, and for this, I’m truly sorry, but we haven’t seen each other for years. You were barely home.”

 _You were barely with me_.

“There is a war up there. It’s not like I have much of a choice.”

“I know.” Cautiously, he took a step forward, watching every reaction of death. Thanatos remained still, looking unresponsive, and so Zagreus took another step, then another, and his heart, if he had one, leapt with each.

He came to a halt just before him and the old attraction, which had once lingered between them, was suddenly back. They had been close, closer than anyone could ever be, but they had missed their chance to act upon it; Zagreus being too uncertain if the calm Thanatos felt the same and Thanatos himself too busy with his task. That was what had torn them apart and now, Zagreus had decided to leave and to kill any possible future chance.

At that moment, Zagreus wondered if that might not have played into his decision. This game of will they won’t they had gone on for a felt eternity and slowly, Zagreus hadn’t been able to endure it anymore.

He was a confident, determined person if he had made up his mind, but with Thanatos things were much more complicated, more intense.

“Than…” He covered the last step between them and now they were so close that their bodies were almost touching. Zagreus waited, giving him a chance to back out if it was unwanted, but the God of Death stayed, only looking at him with these captivating, golden eyes. Carefully, he reached out and cupped Thanatos cheek. The skin of the personified death was cold and smooth like it was crafted out of marble. “Our time together is the best one I experienced here and I cherish every moment, but I have to do this.”

Thanatos sighed and leaned his cheek into Zagreus palm, warmed by the fire running through his veins, and closed his eyes. Zagreus had missed it, had missed _him_. The old, believed dead yearning reigniting.

“Tell me you won’t leave me, Zag,” he whispered, the same longing resonating in his voice that Zagreus felt. “Tell me you will come back.”

The son of Hades’ jaw tensed slightly, the muscles working as he moved the following words from one side to the other, wagering on how to put it.

“I can’t do that,” he finally brought himself to say. “And I respect you too much to make false promises I might not be able to keep.”

Thanatos nodded and opened his eyes again, sorrow glistening in them. He cupped Zagreus’ hand with his own, his thumb brushing over its back. Zagreus was able to sense the sadness of the potential prospect which rested inside of it and he felt the urge to cheer him up.

“But it’s not like it’s going to happen anytime soon.” He laughed softly. “I mean, I barely made it to Elysium and it's still a long way to the surface. Besides, I'm sure Father still has some obstacles waiting for me. So, I guess I'll be coming back for a while.”

Something ran through Thanatos eyes again, like a spark of an idea, but it disappeared quickly again. Zagreus still didn’t miss it, though, and frowned, but Thanatos shook his head.

“It’s nothing,” he assured and a faint smile danced over his lips, but then his gaze turned inwards as if he was looking at something far away. Then he sighed and his gaze returned to him. “I have to go.”

“The dead do not sleep as it seems.” Zagreus tried to cheer him up even though he didn’t want Thanatos to leave, now that he was finding him again. Even though he wanted to hold onto his cloak, but it felt like it was dematerializing and slipping through his fingers.

“Apparently not.” Thanatos’ smile became a bit wider, but exhaustion blurred his eyes.

“Take care of yourself, promise?”

“You should be the one promising,” the god of death replied. “A lot of pain and death awaits you.”

Zagreus nodded.

“I know.”

“Let’s just hope the answers you’re going to find are worth it.” And with that Thanatos disappeared into green sparkles and the light in the chamber turned normal again.

Zagreus remained where he stood for a while, starring at the spot where Thanatos had been and his thoughts were running wild.

Then, he sighed, summoned Stygius into his hand and went into the next chamber.

How was he supposed to focus on the battles ahead?

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think about my version of events? I had a lot of fun writing it and would really like to know. I'd appreciate a kudo or a comment =)
> 
> I wish you a wonderful Sunday, Subaru =)


End file.
